Dear Applicant,
We appreciate your interest in working as a sign-spinner for our company, Vulgar Condos. Please accept the following feedback on your recent audition.
- Technique
As you know, sign spinners are required to toss, flip, and spin the sign. Your spinning routine was creative, but the choice of Madonna as your music was uncool.
We also noticed that you dropped the “Vulgar Condos – This Way!” sign during your routine. We stopped counting after the fourth time. In addition, you failed to catch the sign after tossing it, leading to a broken coffee-maker, for which we will send you a bill.
- Attire
You wore a leopard unitard to your audition, along with a “Flashdance” t-shirt. Our customers expect youthful, urban energy. In the future, you should wear baggy jeans that sag around the buttocks, an oversized white t-shirt, and vintage Pumas. Oh and — leave the high-heel sneakers at home next time.
- In General
We are confident that by following our suggestions above, your career as a sign-spinner will be successful. However, we are concerned that you are a little old to be a sign-spinner Ms. Smith. Heh heh just joking, we love older workers.
Finally Ms. Smith, rest assured that we understand the difficulty of your career transition (not to mention midlife crisis). Your tearful outburst won’t be held against you. Your resume will be placed in our files, and we will consider you for future openings at Vulgar Condos. We will also appreciate your prompt payment of the coffee-maker bill.
Sincerely,
Vulgar Condos
P.S. We have attached a video below, for you to practice with.
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