About madonna: Billy Currington, country metrosexual

If you’re disappointed that Levi Johnson recently proved in Playgirl that he’s got as much between his legs as between his ears, then maybe you should shift your attention from Ricky Holly/NoWood to somebody who deserves your attention: Billy Currington.

He’s the country singer whose current single “(God is great, beer is good and) People are Crazy” is about as pithy as it gets.

Pithy, not pissy. Pissy would be Adam Lambert, who is blaming everyone from Out magazine to homophobia for the mismanagement of his career. That, if you think about it takes some balls and puts him on the fast track to becoming the Sarah Palin of the gay/music world.

Apart from his instantly hummable songs, what distinguishes Mr Currington is that he is part of the current crop of hunky country metrosexuals. No that’s not an oxymoron. A country metrosexual is a country crooner who flaunts his big guns and gym toned bod and looks like he stepped out of the pages of Details magazine because he knows that the girls go crazy for a sharp dressed man. Tim McGraw and Keith Urban are the most conspicuous of the breed.

But Mr. Currington must be doing something right because he’s quickly becoming a fixture on that list. His video for the song “Must be doin’ somethin’ right” shows him completely comfortable with using his “On the Waterfront” sexuality, pushing the envelope about as far as any mainstream white male singer has since Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game” video.

And push he does. Unlike in “Wicked Game”, where the camera devours and fetishizes Helena Christiansen as she shows off her body for–the male gaze and– Mr Isaaks, in ” Must be doin’ something right,” the camera devours Mr Currington’s buff bod which is being shown off not for his video lover but for the female gaze.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8-MrHesljE

When you watch this video you will be struck by how rare this display of male sexuality is in music videos while the female equivalent is almost obligatory for most female superstars, no matter their race, genre or, in Mariah’s case, age.

After his preposterous over the top gay underground visual extravaganza on the American Music Awards was roundly criticized, Mr Lambert fired back that there was a double standard being applied to him because he was gay , pointing to Madonna and Brittney as examples of performers who have used overtly sexual imagery in their performances, including a same sex kiss for instance, without having to face the wrath of the censors.

He’s only partly right. Yes, conspicuous (and caricatured) displays of gay male sexuality on network television (but not cable) make America uncomfortable in 2009. (So do “wardrobe malfunctions.” Just ask Janet.) But he’s fundamentally doing somethin’ wrong when he refuses to see that it is also true that America is just now becoming comfortable with routinely fetishizing the male anatomy for the consumption of the female viewer, with (who would have guessed) country metrosexuals leading the way. (See also the ads for Emporio Armani underwear featuring David Beckham.)

It’s going to take some time before America embraces Mr. Lambert kissing keyboardists let alone orally sodomizing dancers. In the meanitme, Adam shut up and record a few good songs and an album that doesn’t get panned by critics.

It worked for Billy.